Should Women Change Their Names?

Here's a blanket assumption (referring to women who change their names after marriage):

I've got news for you, girls. If you let him stamp his name on you, he is boss.

But, is this true? My answer: NO! Not always.

It always comes back to choice. First of all, a man is not stamping his name on me if I choose to take his last name. Also, it isn't as though I'm just taking his name--it is his family's name. However, if there is no decision making process going on, there really is no choice in the matter.

I think there are some major reasons why women should not change their name.

The Top Reasons Women Shouldn't Change Their Names:

1. Because everyone does it.
2. Because my husband/fiance wants me to.
3. Because I belong to him.

The Top Reasons Women Should Change Their Names:

1. Because I want to.
2. Because we decided it should be our family name.
3. Because I made this choice.

I didn't change my name to my husband's family name until after we had been married for two years. Before I made the decision to do it, my husband and I had a long talk about it. I didn't want to do it because it was traditional or because other people thought I should. Part of me wanted us to have the same last name so it could be easier for our children (I know to many hyphenated kids...or kids with a different last name from one of their parents, although both parents are married to each other).

I told my husband we had three choices: 1) I can take his last name; 2) He can take my last name; or 3) We can take a name together.

Well, neither of us wanted to choose a new last name. And, my last name became legally hyphenated when I was 18 (not by my choice), so I really liked the idea that I could choose my last name. I no longer wanted a hyphenated name--there is so much confusion in society when you have two last names joined together. What really made it easier for me to decide to use my husband's last name was that he agreed to consider changing his name to mine. The fact that we had a discussion about it and he was willing to consider changing his name as well really meant a lot to me.

Who knows? If I had a last name I wanted to keep or he had an awful last name or we both wanted to use a different family name, our choice might have been different.

But, as long as choice is involved, it is okay to change your last name when you get married.

No man has ever put a stamp on me. No man is my boss. No man owns me. I'm not cattle. I'm a woman with a mind of her own and I make my own life choices.